It’s been a long time since I’ve updated the blog. It’s not that I haven’t been doing anything, I’ve just been super lazy at taking photos and documenting. However, I did manage to take a few lounging around the house the other day, so I thought I could post those. Ava is getting so big now!! She is almost 10 months old, and every day seems to bring new likes and dislikes. She’s finally crawling and eating well. She’s still on the small side, but I think she’s going to start catching up soon. I now have to always have to keep one eye on that little ball of fire because if she spots something she wants… she’ll go for it!! Her obsessions are the tv remotes, my cell phone, and any piece of jewelry I might be wearing. She babbles all day, and I love her sweet little squeaky voice. It makes things so much more lively around the house!

I have a new church calling. I have been released as the Cub Scout Bear leader, and I am now in the Young Women’s as the Personal Progress Leader. It’s been quite the challenge figuring it all out, but I’m having so much fun. I love getting to the know the girls, and I hope I can help them set and complete their goals. I know that Personal Progress is an important part of the Young Women program, so my goals are to find fun ways to motivate them and have fun at the same time! When I was their age, I didn’t really see the value in it. However, the program has been changed and they are now offering more incentives along the way to increase the girls motivation. It’s wonderful to see the changes, and in fact I have set a goal for myself begin working toward earning my own medallion. It’s a lot of work but I can’t ask the girls to do something that I wouldn’t do myself. It seems like the right thing to do.

A few weeks ago, I began thinking about Guatemala and suddenly…. I couldn’t get it out of my head. I started rehashing all my experiences in my mind. The good, the bad, the wonderful, the heartbreaking….. it was so strange. I have been mentally “checked out” from everything going on there since I had the baby. I was so preoccupied with everything going on here, I just couldn’t do both. Then suddenly, BAM…. something happened to me. I called Debbie, we talked… and by the end of the conversation I had basically committed myself to making another trip. I can’t really explain it. I feel so strongly that there’s a reason why I need to get involved again… now. Our entire board has had a very rough year, and we all were in survival mode. Within a few days, I made contact with Kevin…. and I couldn’t believe when he told me the rest of the board wanted to make a trip to Guatemala at the same time! The timing had never been better. This wasn’t something that was planned, we weren’t talking to each other, and yet in one phone call…. there was a commitment. I felt there was a reason why after so long…. we all felt the same prompting to reunite and do something. Now I’m not going overly dramatic here… but I feel we are being led back together. I don’t know why, I don’t really know what we’re supposed to do…. but it feels right. That’s all I know. Since my decision, I have been burning with excitement and motivation to do something. The people of Guatemala are in dire circumstances since they were hit by hurricane agatha this year. We are looking to go there and help a village or small group of villages in the area. Hundreds of families are living under plastic tents during the rainy season, children are without shoes, men without proper clothing, and almost all go to bed each night with empty bellies. This is obviously a much bigger problem than we can fix, but we have been networking with many kind and generous organizations and  volunteers. No matter what…. things will improve. There is an amazing american couple who live there in the area, and they have done some amazing work. They are truly considered “Earth Angels” for some of these villages. Both our organization and hers will be joining forces to help the same cause as we move forward in plans and projects. It’s very exciting to see everything come together, and it has been a testament to me the power of  service and charity. Unbelievable  things happen, and prayers are answered when led by love. It’s one of the few times in my life where I can account for many little miracles, and faith. What lessons I have learned and I hope to grow and become a more spiritual person as I lean on my testimony, faith, and hard work. If you are interested in seeing some of the work being done, and the everyday stories that occur in these areas, please visit the Journal/Blog of Vicki Dalia. She is the found and President of Safe Homes for Children. To read her journal…. click HERE

Anyway… . I’m here. Things are great. I’m going to do better. Thanks for visiting!!!

Saturday evening we held the annual fireworks extravaganza in the cul-de-sac in front of Mike and Vicki’s house. The kids go crazy for it…. but this year we were all just kind of like….”Just light them already! Line them all up in a row and just start lighting them!” It was ridiculous the massive amounts of fireworks we had this year. I think it probably took at least an hour to light them all. Kim was able to bring out her little recliner chair, and join in the fun too. I was happy she could participate in all the fun, since she’s staying at Vicki’s house until she recovers from her surgery. Unfortunately there were some complications so she’s going to be out of commission for quite a while until she heals. I think she enjoyed being included in the the festivities though.

Nice Next door neighbor lady Sue gave everyone popcicles to eat. Those wrappers got ripped off quicker than a snake bite! (huh?) I know, but they were pretty darn good.

The next day, Kayla had the Baby blessing of their newest addition Enzo Rivera. He is absolutely darling, and I was happy to have had the chance to hold the little beauty on Saturday for a few hours. Nothing better than a sleeping baby!!! The blessing was given by Mike and everyone was there to support their family at this time. It’s been really fantastic to see the growth in Kayla the last few years and their sweet children. We really love you guys!

After church, Chris and I rushed off to see Grandma Clegg in the hospital while Ava was napping. She was admitted about a week ago, and everyone has been really worried about her. It seems every day brings new problems and anxieties. It has been really tough on the family watching her go through this. I especially understand their care and concern considering my Grandma is still so fresh in my mind. I love Grandma Clegg too, and I too have a difficult time watching her struggle, but I know that the pain runs deeper with Chris and his family. We went to the hospital to visit with her, but I was happy to see how much better she seemed to be doing!  Of course she looks much more frail and thin, but she was sitting up, eating, and I could tell that her mind had total clarity. We had a really great conversation, joked around some and laughed. I felt like she was on the road to recovery, and hopefully she is! We also were able to visit some with Grandpa and Eric when they arrived. Grandpa is borderline driving Grandma crazy, but only because he loves that woman so dang much he can’t bear to be without her. His anxiety is through the roof, and I think he just is so fearful of the worst. It’s an extremely difficult thing to watch someone you absolutely love struggle…. but unfortunately this is part of growing old. No one is exempt. Before we left the hospital the men all showed up to give both Grandma and Grandpa a blessing. It was a truly sweet moment, and it was a testament to me the spirit that comes with a group of men bearing the priesthood. The blessings were so sweet and humble, and the love in the room was palpable. After the blessings there was a short embrace between Grandma and Grandpa, and for a brief moment the True, Unwavering, and Unconditional love between those two individuals was so clear to everyone it was almost as if time stopped for a moment. I know it sounds ridiculous and cheesy… but that brief moment of clarity will be something that I know I will remember for the rest of my life. They have both meant so much to the family, it means a lot to be able to tell each of them how much we love them, and to feel the support and love from everyone around them. I truly felt that it helped buoy their spirits. We love them so much, and I look forward to more memories with them!

This morning I woke up thinking about Grandma. She was in my dream last night, and I can’t remember all the details, but she was hanging out with us just like normal, and I was able to talk with her just like old times. I woke up feeling REALLY GOOD because I had spent the night hanging out with Grandma! It also made me think about her alot. Then, today in relief society a friend came up to me and told me she was sorry to hear about my Grandma. Well, I sure made her sorry! I started to cry, and I just couldn’t stop crying! It’s one of those things that you can’t control, and as you’re doing it…. you’re hating yourself! I was a complete mess and had to go to my “happy place” after about 20 minutes to get myself under control. I was completely caught off gaurd by my reaction, and I felt so sorry for my friend. I think she regretted bringing it up and I felt bad about my reaction, but I really did appreciate her sentiments. I am just now starting to realize how much I am going to miss her. Towards the end, it’s not like I saw her every day, and it’s not like I was able to call her every day….but I knew she was always there. I knew she was probably sitting in her Lazy-Boy watching Jeopardy or Cash Cab. I knew she would be there the next trip I went to Mesquite. It’s really sad to think she’s not going to be there ever again. The day of the funeral mom was getting out some of the things Grandma had stored away in her old cedar chest. I couldn’t believe my eyes. She had actually kept and stored away some of the old dresses I had worn as a little girl. I don’t know when she did this, or why…. but just thinking about it makes my eyes tear. I know that my Grandma loved me so very much… and according to her…. I was perfect. How wonderful she made me feel! To think that she had stored some of my items with some of her most treasured items makes me feel even more special. I now have these dresses in my posession, and will store them away for safe keeping. I hope Grandma’s having a party right now with all of her loved ones, eating See’s Candy, and sharing lots of love and laughter!! Boy I miss my babysitter, snack lady, sidekick, and Grandma!!

Happy Happy Father’s Day to a Wonderful Husband, Father, Son, Brother, Grandson, and Friend. You are MY best friend and I look forward to many happy years together. May each year only get better and better!!

Grandma is that cute girl, 3rd from the left with the blonde hair.

My Grandma has been a huge part of my life since the day I was born. She lived so close to our house that I could see her washing dishes at the kitchen sink from our living room. Growing up there wasn’t a day that didn’t go by where I didn’t see her. She would stop over to check on us while my mom was a work, or we would escape to her house when our parents had made us mad. I was lucky enough to spend extra alone time with Grandma because she would baby sit me every day after school until mom got off work. I’d go over in the morning, then we’d drive to school together because she was an aide for the special Ed kids, and then we’d hang out at school sometimes, and after school we’d drive home together. She’d make me lunch, then have some sort of activity. We also had a weekly routine of chores that she made me do at her house. I vacuumed her floors, cleaned the bathrooms, dusted all the rooms and shelf items, make beds…. That lady kept me busy!! I was always getting roped into cleaning her house, but I really didn’t mind. She usually gave me a yummy treat in return for all my hard work. Sometimes she’d let me help her make cookies! That was the best!! We took naps together, watched her game shows together…. we were little buddies. Grandma was basically the only Grandparent I have ever known because I don’t really have any on my Dad’s side, and my Grandpa White Died only a few months before I was born.

I think it’s a very unique experience having a Grandmother play such an important role in one’s life. She took on more of a Secondary Mother Role, instead of just a Grandmother. Granted, she didn’t have all the responsibilities that a parent has for a child, but I know she loved all of us just as much as she loved her own children. Even until the end, she was SOOO worried about everyone. She just wanted to know that all was well, and good things were happening in all of our lives.

The last 2 weeks of her life have been ones that I will never forget. I essentially spent most of those weeks in Mesquite. Initially, I had only planned on spending 2 days, but when I got there, I couldn’t bring myself to go home. There was such a decline in her health from day to day, I was scared I would leave and never see her again. So, instead of going home, I jumped in with both feet and helped with her care. The only thing I can liken the experience to is the care of a newborn. It’s 24/7, exhausting, stressful, completely selfless, and full of love. The only difference is that intellectually you know that the outcome will be much different in the end. I took on the primary role of managing her medication therapy and pain management, and working with the hospice nurse. It felt so natural to jump in, and it made the team effort between Me, Mom, Aunt Suzanne, and April Seamless. We knew that we were giving her the best care that we knew how, and it felt good. The constant underlying anxiety never left, that Mom and I started sleeping in her bedroom to keep an eye on her. I slept on the floor next to her bed, and Mom slept in the recliner. I’ve never slept so restlessly in my life. Every time she would moan, move, or catch her breath….. we would shoot up out of bed to check on her. I think I’m still catching up on my sleep.

It was heartbreaking to watch family come and go, say their final goodbye’s, and leave with a heavy heart. We all know this is her time. Her life hasn’t been cut short, she was 91 for heaven’s sake. But we can’t help but feel sorry for ourselves because she will no longer be a part of our lives here on earth. We all know we’ll see her again, and she’s happier now than she’s ever been. Regardless, it doesn’t take away that sting of OUR loss. I will mourn the loss of my Grandma. I will cry…. alot. I will miss her presence at every family function, holiday, and visit home. In spite of all that… I feel happiness, joy, and gratitude that she has been released from her earthly body that caused her so much pain. She was ecstatic to reunite with her family members that had passed. She kept mentioning her mom and dad, grandparents, siblings, cousins, her husband….. she had so much to look forward to. Some of the most touching moments were the unspoken moments I witnessed between Grandma and Hailey, Conner, and Ava. In the end she could do nothing more than just reach out with a shaky hand to touch them, they would hold one of her fingers, and they would just stare at each other. Grandma really enjoyed whenever Ava was in the room. She would sit on her bed and make cute noises, and grab things, and Grandma would just stare and smile.

I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity to say my final goodbye’s in just the way I wanted to. Selfishly, I loved taking care of her. I loved that she would look up at me with her pretty blue eyes, and call me “sweetheart”. I loved that she knew I was there the whole time, she could depend on me. Selfishly, It felt great to know that I would have NO regrets about any of this when it was over. I even had a few emotional, and tear filled moments with her. Things I will never forget. There were times when Grandma was awake, and I KNOW she was in there listening to me, but unable to communicate, so I would talk to her. I was able to tell her how much I loved her. I expressed how wonderful a Grandma she was to all of her Grandkids, and I wanted her to know that she should be proud of herself. I also told her I was at peace, and that not only myself, but EVERYONE was at peace and we didn’t want her to have this physical pain anymore, and we were excited for her to finally reunite with her loved ones on the other side. I told her we would be fine, and she didn’t need to worry anymore. I told her she would never be alone, and that we were going to stay with her until the end. She definitely expressed fear about what was happening to her, so the only thing I personally knew to do was to physically be there, and hold her hand. I think it’s these kinds of conversations that began to prompt the sleeping in the bedroom with her.  I will always treasure our quiet moments together and I know she is finally resting, and finally at peace. I’m also grateful for the time I had to sit and visit with family for hours on end that ordinarily would not have occured. Between Aunt Suzanne, April, John, mom, and Gina, I think my voice was hoarse from all our conversations over Grandma’s bed. It was a truly unique, spiritual, and emotional experience that I am so glad I was able to be a part of, and I will never forget the lessons I learned, and the things that happened.

Grandma quietly took her last breath at 12:05pm on Saturday, June 5th. She was lucky to be in her own home, and with family. I loved her with all my heart. I miss her already, but I’m also happy for her. Until We Meet Again Grandma!!

OBITUARY

Hazel Pulsipher White Posting Date: 06-07-2010

Hazel Pulsipher White passed away peacefully June 5, 2010 surrounded by her family at home in Mesquite. She was 91 years old. Hazel was born in a tent on her family’s ranch on the western edge of Mesquite on November 28, 1918 to John Lewis and Margaret Bodil Johnson Pulsipher. She married Donald Dalley White April 29, 1938 in the Salt Lake City L.D.S. temple. They had three children. Hazel lived all of her life in Mesquite except for the years during World War II when Don was employed by the U.S. Government in Boulder City, Nevada. She was proud of her heritage of Mesquite pioneers that started with both sets of her great-grand parents who were among the early settlers here. Hazel was an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and held numerous positions in the auxiliaries. She was preceded in death by her husband, parents, and all of her siblings and their spouses, John Lewis Jr. (Marian), Zella (Mike) Burns, William Leonard (Amy), James Nephi (Rita) and Clare Lamar “Buck”. She is survived by her children Donald Lewis (Dianne) of Las Vegas, Nevada, Susanne (Robin) Hagberg of Orem, Utah, and Geraldine Zarate of Mesquite, 14 grandchildren and 40 great-grand children. Services will be held Saturday June 12 at 11 a.m. at the Mesquite Nevada Stake Center. A viewing will be from 9 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. prior to the service. The family would like to thank the Virgin Valley Home Care and Hospice for their help and wonderful care of their mother and grandmother.

Before….

After….

For Mother’s Day, my sister Lillian drove to Vegas to spent some time with me and go to a Show. We previously purchased tickets to see the winners of America’s Best Dance Crew, The Jabbawockeez, at MGM. Their performance was seriously amazing! It was incredible how you could see how much they love what they do, and they are fantastic!! It was about an hour and a half show, but the time flew. Lillian and I were also thrilled to see Dominic. (He’s a famous dancer from another crew, and I also knew him from, So You Think You Can Dance) Both Lillian and I totally had crushes on him, so needless to say we were stoked that we got to sit so close. ANywho, we forgot to get pictures of ourselves, AND then I forgot my camera in the car…. soooo this is the next best thing. A little sample of what we saw…..

Chris is the best husband in the world because about a month ago he bought me the camera I have wanted forever!! I am now the proud owner of the Nikon D60. I cannot express to you how much I love it, and am enjoying playing around with it. Ava is getting very used to me practicing my technique on her. I LOVE MY CAMERA….

I STILL have the BEST husband in the world because he indulges me and allows me to tell him things like, “but Chris!! If we get this camera, it’s like making an investment! It’s like making an investment on our memories!!! Don’t you want to remember these precious moments of our family?!” He then allows me to log onto QVC and purchase a Flip Video Camera. Chris sure Does love me, but I especially love documenting our lives, and our family!! Sooo…. here are some of our extremely everyday moments, that mean so much to me!!!

I have also spent a little time with my Brother, ok, VERY little time, but at least for a few moments at his daughters, (my niece) first communion dinner celebration. This is not the brother that I grew up with. This is my brother Caesar that has been unknown  to me for most of my life. It an extremely awkward situation with the language barrier, the family situation, and the simple fact that we really don’t know each other. However, I think it’s important to try and bridge those gaps and come to mutual ground as siblings and build those important friendships and relationships in our lives.

4 of the 7 siblings. Missing is my sister Maggie, and my other 2 half brother and sister whom I have never met.

Me, Lillian, and Paula

Me and my uncle Manual

ok, and I just can’t resist a photo of my adorable niece that I happened to snap randomly….

Mommy and Daughter….

My random obsession in Ava’s room….. Her bow organizer…. I die every time I look at it!

Ava’s Obsession…. Mr. Elephant. She cannot fall sleep at night without touching his furry self.

OK… THAT’S IT!!! I’m Done!! No more pictures. The End.